“Would I Lie To You” – gargalesis

This episode of WILTY features Susie dent, vocabulary expert of the TV show “Countdown”.

Susie Dent: My dad once broke my leg during a particularly vigorous bout of gargalesis.
Rob Bryden: Lee, I can guess your first question.
Lee Mack: Sorry, what does the word “dad” mean? So, well, go on… what is “gargalesis”?
SD: “Gargalesis” is very heavy tickling. Did you call it “roughhousing”? We used to call it “roughhousing”, as well as “gargalesis, obviously.
LM: You called it “roughhousing”?
Stacy Solomon: That’s like where I used to live!
LM: Talk us through the incident, then. How did it happen?
SD: Well, I don’t like tickling at all, the heavy kind…
LM: Well, you wouldn’t now, would you?
SD: … or the light kind, which is called knismesis.
LM: It’s called what?
SD: Knismesis.
LM: Did you just say the same word backwards? You did that weird thing…
SD: Anyway, gargalesis is the really heavy… heavy kind.
LM: Are you… sorry, did your family make these words up for fun or are they actually words in the dictionary?
SD: Erm, these are actual words, yeah, in the dictionary.
RB: So, there he was, your dad, was tickling you… where?
SD: On the landing. (the “landing” is the space at the top of the stairs, joining the rooms, Rob meant “Where on you body was he tickling you?”)
RB: How old were you, Susie?
SD: I was seven.
Rob: Seven years of age.
LM: Seven, and how old was your dad at this time?
SD: Erm, my dad would have been… oh, I don’t know.
LM: Oh, I forgot you do the words, not the maths, don’t you?
SD: Yeah, good point.
LM: Do you want to phone Rachael and get back to me? (Rachael Riley is the maths expert on “Countdown”)
SD: And so I… just because I absolutely hate tickling, was desperate to get away, and went to move of, and in doing so kind of left my leg behind.
Bob Mortimer: Which leg was it, Susie?
SD: It was my left leg, and it’s still ever so slightly crooked.
LM: Is it?
Ore Oduba: You were tapping your right leg before!
SD: Oh, was I?
BM: Yes, that’s what I remember.
OO: I mean you had your legs left and right, it just…
SD: No, it was my left leg.
RB: So what do you think Lee? Is that the truth?
LM: This is what might have happened. They might have given her a card with a word on, knowing she’s a wordsmith, and then she’s gone “I’d better give a meaning to this word quickly, I’ll say ‘tickling’.”
RB: I’ll tell you what, because Susie was coming on the show, we have got a dictionary.
LM: And is this cheating? Are we allowed to do this?
RB: I’m allowed to do whatever I want! Susie, would you spell it for me? It’s the wrong was up. Would you spell it for me, please?
LM: Good job you put those glasses on!
DM (impersonating comedian Ronnie Corbett): Ha, ha, ha. I’ll never forget the day, there we are. How do you spell it?
SD: Erm, G-A…
RB: G-A, right, give me a minute.
SD: R-G…
RB: G-A-R-G…
SD: A-L…
RB: G-A-R-A-L…
SD: G-A-R-G-A-L…
RB: I’ve got G… what? Let me say, “I’ve got G-A-R,” and then…
DM: Oh god, it’s like trying to get my dad to write an email!
RB: No, there… it’s not, it’s seriously not in here. G-A-R… it goes from “garfish” to “garganey”, which is a small duck.
LM: Ok, so we’ve got a problem here, haven’t we, because we’ve found out that the word doesn’t exist.
RB: You said G-A-R-G-A-L…
SD: It’s a small dictionary.
RB: It’s not a small dictionary, it’s huge! So, what’s it going to be?
LM: I’m totally confused on this one.
BM: I’m “lie” now, I think.
LM: You’re “lie”, now? Why?
BM: Well, based on the wrong leg, the strange word – two strange words… not for me.
LM: So we say “lie”.
BM: For me, Lee, yeah.
LM: “Lie”?
OO: For me, “lie”.
LM: We’re going “lie”.
RB: Susie… truth or lie?
SD: It is in fact… true.
RB: So, there we are, it’s true. Susie did once break her leg after her dad tickled her.