YouTube Transcription #11 Computer Says No

This clip is from the Little Britain series, featuring Carol Beer, rude and uncaring receptionist, played by David Walliams. Much of Little Britain is available on YouTube. The two comedians play many different characters, all of whom appear in each episode.

Father(customer): We’ll go to Sleeping Beauty’s Castle…
Mother: We’ll see Snow White…
Father: The parade…
Father: Er, hello?
Carol: Welcome to Sunsearchers, my name is Carol.
Father: Hi, Carol.
Carol: Would you like a Sunsearchers lolly?
Daughter: Yes, please.
Carol: Haven’t got any. I ate them all.
Mother: Now, we’ve had a look at the brochures and we want to book a trip to Disneyworld for Christmas.
Carol: Right.
Daughter: I wanna meet Mickey Mouse.
Carol: (It’ll) just be a man in a suit, but… if that’s what you want… so you need flights to Florida… computer says a’no’.
Mother: All the flights are booked?
Carol: I’ve got some seats on Air Zimbabwe.
Mother: Well, that’ll be ok.
Carol: To Zimbabwe, where you’ll need to make your way to Disneyworld on foot.
Mother: Maybe not.
Carol: No. I’ve got a flight to Cuba.
Father: Er, I don’t think that’s gonna work.
Carol: It’ll be fine. When you get to Florida you can parachute out.
Father: No.
Carol: No. Got a flight to Guildford.
Mother: No.
Carol: No.
Father: Well, look, is there anywhere else we can go, you know, that could be fun? Nowhere else?
Carol: Something here on the screen, yeah, that would be ideal. Wonderful weather this time of year, very reasonable, and excellent for families, really great for the little ones, yeah. Oh, that is perfect… Computer says ‘no’.

Expressions used:
A “lolly” is a candy on a stick, like she is eating at the end.
“Little ones” means children.

Bank Customer: It all happened so fast. I was knocked to the ground and when I came to my handbag with my purse and my credit cards had all gone. I’ve just come from the hospital. I need to pay my gas bill, and I’ve got to buy a present for my grandson. I just don’t know what to do.
Carol: Hmm. We’d better get you some new ones, hadn’t we?
Carol: Computer says ‘no’.
Carol: Excuse me.
Expressions used:
“Come to,” means to wake up after fainting or going unconscious. It is stressed different to other uses. for example, “When I came to the office,” only the words “came” and “office” are stressed, but with this special meaning, both words “come” and “to” have equal stress.
A ‘purse’ is a lady’s wallet in British English, but in American English it means handbag.
“We’d better…, hadn’t we?” is usually a suggestion. In this case it sounds very sympathetic (but Carol is not sympathetic!).