YouTube Transcription #19 Nina Conti


Nina: Scott, I’m just going to give you the same treatment, excuse me. This is just the same thing. Alright. Can you come over close?
Man: This is fantastic! This is the night of my life!
Nina: Come a little closer.
Man: Sorry, your arms aren’t so long.
Nina:So, erm…
Man: Oh, she’s loevely!
Nina: She is.
Woman: Oh, thank you. I saw you in the queue.
Man: I saw you in the queue and all. If you take your jumper off I’ll warm you u@ with a nice cuddle. Oh, it would be a privilege and an honour.
Nina: Listen, guys, I feel a bit of a gooseberry, should I leave you two?
Man: No, no, don’t leave. I’ll get tongue-tied if you leave.
Woman: Don’t leave, not yet.
Nina: Ok, alright. I’m so glad that you like each other.
Man: Yes, yes. Isn’t that lucky?
Woman: Very lucky. He’s lovely.
Man: I love project managers. There’s nothing more exciting in my life I can think of than managing a project.
Woman: Oh, let me tell you. The laughs we have!
Nina: Ok, good, well that’s fantastic.
Man: This is romantic. Have you got any romantic music, Nina?
Nina: Yes, we could probably manage that.
Man: Oh, that’ll be good.
Woman: That’ll be lovely.
Nina: Is that good?
Man: Magical.
Nina: You look confused.
Woman: I’ve heard it somewhere before.
Man: In a dream, maybe?
Nina: So what are you going to do? Are you going to talk to each other after the show?
Man: Yes, I think we are.
Woman: I think we will, yeah. I’m looking forward to it.
Nina: Good.
man: But what the hell… I’m going to seize the day.
Nina: What are you going to do?
Man: I’m going to get down on one knee.
Nina: Really?
Man: I’m going to get down on one knee now, like this. I’m just going to say “I love you”, with your hairy jumper and your silly voice, and your need to shrug. Will you be my bride?
Woman: Yes, I will.
Nina: Lovely, how lovely. Are you going to kiss?
Woman: Yes, we are.
Nina: You don’t have to.
Woman: No, we want to kiss.
Nina: Well you don’t need to feel pressurized to kiss.
man: No, there’s no pressure. We really want to kiss.
Woman: Yes, we do.
Nina: Ok, well whenever you’re ready.
Man: Here I come.
Woman: Here I am.
Man: Here I come.