YouTube Transcription #32 Mitchell & Webb

Have you heard of a “grammar nazi”? When someone is overly pedantic about other people’s incorrect usage of grammar and vocabulary, he/she is often called a grammar nazi.

Ian: …which means a better outcome for everyone. Ladies and gentlemen, that concludes my presentation on the Healthy Homes and Hospitals program, or “HHH”. Any questions?
Tony: Could you say your acronym again?
Ian: It’s “HHH”.
Tony: Thought so.
Woman 1: Bloody hell! You just shot Ian!
Tony: It’s pronounced “eich”, not “heich”; “eich”.
Man: You can’t shoot him just for that!
Tony: I just did. Anyway, it’s my company, I can do what I like.
Woman 1: We all signed the “no bullying in the workplace” pledge, which pacifically bans physical violence.
Tony: What did you say?
Woman 1: I said it “pacifically bans physical violence.”
Tony: It’s “specifically”, with an ‘s’; “specifically”.
Man: Bloody hell, Tony. Would you stop shooting people for saying things wrong?
Tony: You! What are you drinking?
Woman 2: Coffee.
Tony: What type?
Woman 2: It’s an expresso.
Tony: The word is “espresso”.
Man: Stop it, Tony!
Tony: You know very well I killed my own wife for ironically saying “mispronounciation”. If I apply rigorous standards at home, I see no reason why the same standards shouldn’t apply at the workplace.
Man: Why did you have to shoot them? Why couldn’t you just sack them?
Tony: Oh, I never thought of that. Yes, I suppose I could. It’s just the red mist tends to descend whenever I’m confonted with igorami.
Man: Actually, Tony, I think you’ll find it’s “ignoramuses”.
Tony: What?
Man: It’s from the Latin “We are ignorant”. That makes it a verb, not a noun.
Tony: Oh, no. What have I done?
Man: Blimey! At least that’ll stop him shooting whoever he likes.
Tony: It’s “whomever”.

Expressions used:
“Blimey” and “bloody” are very mild British expletives. “Blimey” is particularly mild and can be used in most situations without causing any offense.
“Sack” is the British slang word for “fire” or “terminate employment”.
“I think you’ll find…” is used when correcting somebody.
Some people say that an acronym is not simply initials (such as USA, UN) but that it has to be pronounced as a word (for example NASA, UNICEF). It is a topic for many grammar nazis to get upset about!
An “ignoramus” is an ignorant person, someone who doesn’t know very much.
“The red mist descends” is an expression meaning an uncontrollable anger.