YouTube Transcription #87 Mitchell and Webb

  • Wouldn’t it be great to make everyone think we’ve landed on the Moon? That would show the Soviets.
  • What would it show the Soviets?
  • Well, they’d think that we’ve landed on the Moon, and they’d be all afraid. Do this right and the Cold War could be over by 1971.
  • Why don’t we just release the footage of the Mars landings?
  • No, no. It’s vitally important that we keep the successful mission to Mars secret. I’ve got a hunch that if we pretended to land on the Moon, we’ll be in some way intimidating.
  • Will people believe us?
  • Oh, I’m sure they will, to the extent that we won’t even need to bother to pay much attention to detail with regard to flags and shadows and so on. Dianne(?), you’re the top spy in the Secret Service when it come to misleading footage, what do you suggest?
  • Well, to start with, of course, we’ll need to build a massive rocket.
  • Why? We’re not actually going to the Moon. Sorry, I thought that was the point. Have I got this wrong?
  • We’ll need a massive rocket because the first question people will ask when we show them the footage of the Moon will be “How did you get there?” So we’ll have to be able to say, “We went in that massive rocket you saw.”
  • Hmm. So, we’re not actually gonna be making any kind of saving in terms of the cost of a massive rocket?
  • No, but we will be making a saving on the cost of actually going to the Moon.
  • True, true, and what costs are involved in actually going to the moon?
  • Well, the main one, to be honest, is the massive rocket.
  • Any other?
  • Well, other than that it’s mainly catering.
  • So, so we’ll make a saving on that.
  • Well, no. In fact, it’ll probably be more expensive to cater for an entire film crew for the duration of a shoot than it would be to feed three astronauts.
  • So, erm, I’m just wondering… we’ll still have to build the massive rocket capable of going to the Moon?
  • We will have to do that, yes.
  • So… so I was just thinking… if we built the Moon rocket, might it not be cheaper to just… pop to the Moon and fake the footage there?
  • Fake the footage of the fake Moon landing on the Moon? What if people found out?
  • That’s a rick we’re just gonna have to take.

They are playing US characters but making no effort at all to hide their British accents and even their British way of thinking! Expressions like “I was just wondering…” is often used by British people before saying something that may seem either foolish or obvious to others, or to avoid being too assertive. Other similar expressions are “I was just thinking,” and “Might it not be…”

A “shoot” is a filming session.
“Pop” is to go somewhere briefly. For example, “I’m just popping to the post office.”

In 2002 a man whose aim was to prove that the Moon landing was fake by harassing Buzz Aldrin, the first Moon landing pilot, gave this video to Los Angeles police. This video show Aldrin’s response.

Here is a BBC report on the incident. No charges were made against Aldrin, and in fact the court judge said that Aldrin was a national hero.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/americas/2272321.stm

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