YouTube Transcription #91 H2G2
The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy is a movie, from a TV series, from a novel, from a radio drama by Douglas Adams.
In this scene they are in a space ship powered by improbability. No need to understand this because it is not real!
Zaphod used to have two heads and three arms. The extra head and arm was confiscated by the movie’s antagonist to force them to do something for him. Unfortunately for Zaphod, the other head contained most of his intelligence, which was never very high anyway.
Martin Freeman (British) of The Hobbit and Sherlock plays the main character, Arthur.
Zooey Dechanel (my favourite actress, American) plays Trillian. She and Arthur are the last two humans alive, as the Earth has been destroyed.
Mos Def (American) plays Ford, from a different planet, so not human.
Sam Rockwell (American) plays Zaphod, Ford’s “semi-third half-cousin who shares three of the same mothers with him”
Computer: Guys, it just blows my circuits to tell you that we’re currently in orbit, at an altitude of 300 miles, around the legendary planet of Magrethea.
Zaphod: Magrehtea! Magrethea! Magrethea! Magrethea!
Marvin: Incredible! It’s even worse than I thought it would be.
Announcement: Greetings. This is a recorded announcement as we are all out at the moment. The Commercial Council of Magrethea thanks you for your esteemed visit but regrets the entire planet is temporarily closed. If you would like to leave your name and a planet where you can be contacted, kindly do so at the tone.
Ford: How can a planet be closed?
Zaphod: Zarkin’ A, cousin! Ok, computer, keep going, take us down!
Computer: I’d be happy to!
Announcement: It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet goes unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we’ve just sent to converge with your craft. To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.
Computer: Guys, I’m delighted to tell you that there are two thermonuclear devices headed right for us. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna go ahead and take evasive action. There seems to be something jamming my guidance system. Impact minus 45 seconds.
Arthur: Computer! Do something!
Computer: Sure thing, fella. Handing over manual control. Good luck!
Zaphod: I need some help. I can’t do this without my third arm!
Ford: Arthur, grab my hand!
Zaphod: Did we lose them?
Ford: No, they’re coming right at us.
Arthur: Why can’t I just press this thing? (the improbability drive)
Trillian: No! We’re not fully back to normal yet.
Arthur: So what will happen, then?
Trillian: I don’t know!
Zaphod: No! Don’t do it! We’re here. No telling where it’ll send us. Don’t do it!
Arthur: Look, sod it all!
Zaphod: Wow! Where are we?
Trillian: Er, exactly where we were.
Zaphod: And the missiles?
Ford: Apparently, they’ve turned into a bowl of petunias and a very surprised-looking whale.
Computer: At a probability factor of eight million, seven-hundred and sixty-seven thousand, one hundred and twenty-eight to one (8,767,128:1) against.
Trillian: We have normality.
Arthur: Normality, right! We can talk about normality until the cows come home!
Ford: What is normal?
Trillian: What is home?
Zaphod: What are cows?
blows my circuits – people say that something “blows my mind” meaning it’s amazing, unbelievable. It’s a computer, so it uses the word “circuts” instead of “mind”.
Zarkin’ A – A difficult one to explain. americans tend to say “F****** A” to mean “I totally agree with you.” Zaphod replaced the word “f***” with “Zark”, the name of a god in the story.
fella – means “guy”, “mate” etc. From “fellow”, which is no longer used.
No telling – Short for “There’s no telling,” which means “We have no idea”, or “Nobody knows”.
sod it – a British expression meaning that you have decided to do something inadvisable because all other options are worse.
We can talk about normality until the cows come home – “We can talk about … until the cows come home,” means there is no end to the discussion, no satisfactory resolution. It is an old expression from farming, when the cows all walk over to the barn for milking.