YouTube Transcription: Only Fools & Horses street vendor

At the start he is talking about Prince William, and so “his dad” means Prince Charles.
Del-boy (David Jason) is speaking in East London dialect.

“… Tell you how I know, shall I? Because his dad gave me a bell last week and he said, “Del-boy, Del-boy,” he said. “I’m in right lumber! The enemy‘s doing her pieces because I’ve forgotten Spud’s birthday!” Now, Spud happens to be the nickname for the little Prince William. So, what did I do? I walloped straight round there with one of these and it was end of aggravation. End of story. Now they come complete with batteries, they’re guaranteed fully house-trained, whoops, not that one! Anyway, these are not made in Taiwan; these are not made in Hong Kong; these are made in Burma. What can’t speak, can’t lie. Now listen, the fully recommended retail price is normally 14.95 (pounds). Now I’m not gonna mess about with coppers, and that’s a Freudian Slip, so I’m not asking for 14 quid, I’m not gonna ask for 10 quid. Who’ll give me 6 quid for this little yap? 6 quid, come on, anybody, 6 quid. I’ll tell you something, if these were fluffy little chickens you’d be saying, “Good heavens, they’re going cheap!” No, you see, chickens… No they’re not. These are little pups and they’re going “Yap, yap”, and they are still remarkably cheap. And I’ll tell you why I’ve got to get rid of them, shall I? Because I’m going on me holidays and I need me suitcase, right? Now what I… what I… Right. Well, er, listen, sorry I can’t stay. Tell you what, I just remembered me flight leaves in half an hour. See ya!

“Gave me a bell”=”called me (on the phone)”
“right lumber”=”trouble”
“enemy”=”wife” (in this case Princess Diana)
“doing her pieces”=”very angry”
“walloped”=”ran”, “galloped”
“house-trained”=of an animal, trained not to go to the toilet inside the house
“gonna”=”going to”
“mess around with”=”handle”, “deal with”, for something troublesome
“coppers”=”small coins” but also “police officers”
“Freudian Slip”= saying true words by mistake
“quid”=”pounds” (UK money)
“yap”=noise of a puppy
“Good heavens!”=”Wow”, “I can’t believe it!”
“going cheap”=”being sold at a cheap price
“going cheep”=making a “cheep” sound, as little birds do

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