OFAH: Trigger In The Dark

Boycie: Well this is bloody ridiculous! The reunion was supposed to start at half past seven and look, it’s almost ten past eight!
Denzel: Who organised this reunion anyway?
Mike: What, ain’t he here yet? (ain’t =isn’t)
Denzel: Who?
Mike Your host, the bloke who’s paying for all this. I knew he was going to arrive late – I think he was going to make an entrance to surprise you all. (bloke=man)
Del: Who is it, Mike? Who is it, who is it?
Mike: I don’t know, Del. He just came in yesterday, said he wanted a room for a school reunion… Oh, I want to have a word with you about that FAX machine you sold me.
Del: Yes, yes, alright Michael, I’m busy at the moment. I’ll FAX you about it during the week.
Boycie: So what was this bloke’s name?
Mike: I don’t know, I didn’t catch it.
Denzel: Didn’t you get his name on your receipt and in your accounts?
Mike: Er, no, no, I forgot.
Boycie: In other words, he paid cash.
Mike: Yeah, yeah, that’s right.
Denzel: Well what was he like? Was he tall?
Mike: Yeah, tallish.
Del: Here! He didn’t have a scar, did he, from the bridge of his nose running right down to the corner of his mouth?
Boycie: And his right ear was missing? (Here=listen!)
Mike: No, no, not that I noticed, no.
Del: It ain’t our old headmaster, then. (headmaster=head teacher in school)
Denzel: How could it be our old headmaster? Doctor said he’d never be allowed back into society.
All: Trigger!
Trigger: Alright?
Del: Yeah. Is it you? Is it you, Trigger, that organised all this?
Boycie: Oh turn it up Del-boy, Tigger couldn’t organise a prayer in a mosque. (turn it up=don’t talk nonsense)
Trigger: I got lost on my way here.
Denzel: You’ve been coming to this pub since you were sixteen!
Trigger: I know. I mean I found the pub alright; I couldn’t find this room. I’ve been standing in your dance hall for the last hour.
Mike: All the lights are out, Trig.
Trigger: I know!
Boycie: You’ve been standing in the dark for an hour?
Trigger: Yeah. I thought we was all going to jump out and surprise someone. (was=were)
Mike: But there’s no-one else in there!
Trigger: But I didn’t know that, did I? The lights were out!