English Comedy #5: Benidorm

“Benidorm” is a British sitcom set at a vacation resort in Benidorm, in Spain. It’s a holiday for people who just want to lie in the sunshine all day and do nothing in particular.
In this scene we see Jeff, who came on holiday with his mother, sitting alone when a young lady who is also staying at the hotel drops by to talk to him. Jeff is very shy talking to a girl, and doesn’t want to seem too eager, and also doesn’t want to seem to be a greedy eater.

Jeff (Johnny Vegas) is from Lancashire, in the north of England, and his dialect may sometimes be a little difficult to understand. He says “me” when he means “my”, he says “Mam” where Americans say “Mom” and southern English people say “Mum”.

Starting at 9:10
Jeff: Are you alright?
Girl: Yeah. where’s your mam?
Jeff: She’s not my mam, she’s my PA. She’s gone on a bit of business for me. (PA=Personal Assistant)
Girl: She’s gone on that coach trip, hasn’t she?
Jeff: Yeah.
Girl: I’m gonna get a burger, for my dinner. Can you keep an eye on my baby? (gonna=going to)
Jeff: Yeah, if course I can.
Girl: Do you want one?
Jeff: Maybe one day. It’s a big commitment, isn’t it?
Girl: I meant a burger.
Jeff: Oh, right. Er, I’m not really bothered, thanks.
Girl: Well do you or don’t you?
Jeff: Yes, please.
Girl: Do you want one or two?
Jeff: Just one. I’m not a big eater.
Girl: Well, I’m having two. Do you want two?
Jeff: I don’t mind.
Girl: How many do you want?
Jeff: Three, please.
Girl: Alright, back in a bit.