YouTube transcription #56 Warwick Davis

Warwick Davis is an actor who usually plays costumed characters in movies such as Star Wars and Harry Potter, but rarely gets a chance to show his acting skills. In Life’s Too Short, writer and director Ricky Gervais gave him the lead role.

In this drama, Gervais challenges our way of thinking about people who are different. His jokes are startling but they make us shocked about how society really acts towards them. This is why Warwick was pleased to take this role.

In this scene, Warwick had consulted a fortune teller, Brian, who convinced Warwick of his veracity in his prediction that he would meet a pretty woman. Warwick took this too far and assumed this woman would be someone more beautiful than he would usually meet. The result is that he lost his common sense, and offended someone who he actually cares for.

Maitre D’: Could you just take your seat, sir?
Warwick: You don’t think I can pull her, do you?
Maitre d’: She is very attractive.
Warwick: So? I’m a good-looking bloke.
Maitre d’: Hmm.
Warwick: What do you mean “Hmm”? Objectively speaking, right, out of all the people that come in here, would you say I’m good-looking?
Maitre d’: Sir…
Warwick: Would you say I’m good-looking?
Maitre d’: No.
Warwick: Well, for a dwarf, then.
Maitre d’: Average?
Warwick: Oh, come on! You’re joking. I mean, have you seen some dwarves? Some of them are weird-looking, they look like grubs! You’re telling me, right, if that woman over there comes up to you and says “I’m looking for a man,” you wouldn’t fix me up?
Maitre d’: No.
Warwick: Well, why not?
Maitre d’: I’d assume she fancied me.
Warwick: Why?
Maitre d’: Because if an attractive woman comes up to me and says, “I’m looking for a man,” my first words wouldn’t be, “Oh, great, there’s a horny dwarf over there who’s up for it.” I’d say, “Let me buy you a drink.”
Warwick: I can’t believe you’re worming in on my date now!
Maitre d’: She’s not your date. She is.
Warwick’s date: Hi, how’s it going?
Warwick: Fine.
Warwick’s date: Was there a problem with the maitre d’?
Warwick: No.
Warwick’s date: Good. It’s lovely to see you again.
Warwick: Do you reckon I could get off with that bird?
Warwick’s date: What?
Warwick: Do you think I could get off with her over there?
Warwick’s date: The tall glamorous one?
Warwick: What makes you say she’s tall? Height isn’t an issue. I mean there’s no reason why she wouldn’t see me and think, “Oh, there’s a good-looking fellow, I wouldn’t mind a piece of that”. Do you think I’m good-looking?
Warwick’s date: Yeah.
Warwick: Not just for a dwarf. Generally?
Warwick’s date: Yes.
Warwick: That doesn’t count, because you’re a dwarf.
Warwick’s date: What?
Warwick: Your standards are probably pretty low.
Warwick’s date: What?
Warwick: She’s looking over. Right, just relax, chill out. If she does come over, don’t say you’re my date, right? Just say you’re my sister.
Wow! Did you see that? It just, err, didn’t quite manage it there. We’ll get this… get this cleared up… she’s going, bye. That’ll hurt in the morning.
Brian, he was spot on, wasn’t he, with the prediction that I was going to meet a lovely girl, go on a date. It’s funny, though, isn’t it? He left out tiny details, I don’t know whether you noticed, the bit about me falling backwards off a chair and, you know, pulling everything off the table, smashing glasses everywhere in front of a restaurant full of people, and then the girl I like walking off. He didn’t mention that, did he? Oh, I’m going to bed.

Terms used:
“Maitre d'” is an abbreviation of “maitre d’hotel”, which literally means “hotel manager”, though it is commonly used in English to mean head waiter.
“Pull” and “get off with” both mean to have success in getting a man/woman.
“Bloke” means man, guy.
“Fix someone up” means to arrange a date for somebody.
“Fancy” means to be attracted to someone.
To “worm in on” means to steal some attention that belongs to someone else.
“Spot on” means accurate.