YouTube Transcription #71 The Big Bang Theory

These guys are university science researchers. They are what we call “nerds”, and they have trouble with normal, daily life. In this scene Sheldon, a theoretical physicist, is trying to make a friend of a university colleague named Kripke…

Sheldon: Just in time! I believe I have isolated the algorithm for making friends!
Leonard: Sheldon, there is no algorithm for making friends.
Howard: Hear him out. If he’s really onto something we could open a booth at Comicon and make a fortune!
Sheldon: You see, my initial approach to Kripke had the same deficiencies as those that plagued Stu The Cockatoo when he was new at the zoo.
Raj: Stu The Cockatoo?
Leonard: Yes, he’s new at the zoo.
Sheldon: It’s a terrific book. I’ve distilled its essence into a simple flow chart that will guide me in the process.
Howard: Have you thought about putting him in a crate while you’re out of the apartment?
Sheldon: Hello Kripke? Sheldon Cooper here. It occurred to me you haven’t returned any of my calls because I hadn’t offered any concrete suggestions for pursuing our friendship. Perhaps the two of us might share a meal together. I see, well then perhaps you’d have time for a hot beverage? Popular choices include tea, coffee, cocoa… I see. No, no wait, don’t hang up. Yes, what about a recreational activity? I bet we share some common interests. Tell me an interest of yours. Really? Actual horses? Tell me another interest of yours. Oh no, I’m sorry, I have no desire to get in the water until I absolutely have to. Tell me another interest of yours.
Howard: Uh oh.
Leonard: He’s caught in an infinite loop.
Howard: I can fix it.
Sheldon: Very interesting, but isn’t ventriloquism by definition a solo activity? Yeah. Tell me another interest of yours. Hmm. Is there any chance you like monkeys? What is wrong with you? Everybody likes monkeys. Hang on Kripke. A loop counter, and an escape to the least objectionable activity. Howard, that’s brilliant! I’m surprised you saw that!
Howard: Gee, why can’t Sheldon make friends?
Sheldon: Alright, Krinke. That last interest strikes me as the least objectionable. I would like to propose that we do that together. Tomorrow… yes, I’ll pay. Fine, goodbye. Alright! Time to learn rock climbing.

Expressions used:
Hear him out – This means listen to him until he has finished. This is said when at first you don’t see anything useful, but give him a chance to finish his explanation.
onto something – has a good idea
Comicon – This is an annual event in the US for comic enthusiasts. In this case it is a joke because comic enthusiasts are stereotyped as being socially awkward. Howard thinks that if this idea works, many Comicon attendees will be keen to learn how to get friends.
fortune – In this case it means a lot of money. Another meaning is the future.
It occurred to me – This means that I realised, or I noticed
concrete – In this case it means solid, strong, definite
I bet – I am very sure
Uh oh – This is a variation of “Oh no!” or “Oh dear!”
Gee – This means “wow”, “hey”, or something similar. It came as a less-offensive (to Christians) to “Jesus Christ!”, said in surprise, shock or fear.
why can’t Sheldon make friends? – This is sarcasm. Howard was offended by Sheldon’s remark, and those kind of remarks are of course the reason that Sheldon cannot make friends.
strikes me – I think, I believe – also “It occurs to me.”