YouTube Transcription #92 Do You Speak English?

British tourists in France always have trouble – partly because British are poor at foreign languages, but also because French people don’t really like to help British people!

In this scene, the British lady is in France, the two men are French and they are speaking French (but for us it sounds like English).
British Woman: Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry, erm, do you speak English?
French Man: No, I don’t, sorry.
British Woman: Erm, my car’s broken down, and I wondered if you could tel me where to find a garage.
French Man: Well, you know, that’s wasted on me. I don’t, I don’t understand what you’re saying.
British Woman: So you don’t speak any English at all?
French Man: Not a word, no. It’s one of those things, really. I wish I’d paid more attention in school, but, erm… excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry, do you speak any English?
French Man 2: English? No. What does she want?
French Man: I don’t know, I can’t understand.
British Woman: My car’s broken down and I need to find a garage.
French Man 2: No, so sorry. I don’t understand. Not at all.
British Woman: Alright, well, thanks. er…
French Man: Tell you what… if you go down that way, about half a mile, there’s a village. erm, there might be somebody there that speaks English.
British Woman: (Speaking very bad German)
French Man: Deutsch? No. Sprichst du Deutsch?
French Man 2: (Speaking excellent German, perhaps saying he can’t speak German?)
French Man: Sorry we couldn’t be more help.
French Man 2: Sorry about that. Hey, you never know. next time you’re over, maybe we’ll have learnt a bit of English for you.
French Man: (In German) Yes, or some German.
British Woman: Thanks.
French Man: I can speak English.
French Man 2: so can I!