English Comedy #3: Only Fools And Horses

This is a short extract. There are many from this TV series on YouTube. This one is not so funny but it introduces the east London dialect (especially “Granddad”). There are many cases of “was” instead of “were”, “don’t” instead of “doesn’t” and “me” instead of “my”. Below is a list of all the other London dialect examples:
Del pronounces millionnaires with a “w”: miwionnaires.
make a killing = make a very big profit
down=at
Righto=Alright, OK
“D’you” could mean either “Did you” or “Do you
and all=as well, also
ain’t= isn’t, aren’t, am not
a fortune=a lot of money
’em=them
Stone me!=I can’t believe it!
“old” has no special meaning, but it is used before a noun that is considered to be a very familiar thing. Eg. “I’m going to the old post office.”
fella (fellow)=man, guy
quite=evens, equals (from “quit” meaning “stop”)
them=those
mind you=don’t forget, take into consideration

Del often mis-quotes French, which he considers sounding impressive. Everyone else notices, but nobody tells him that he is wrong. In this case he translates “Nothing ventured, nothing gained,” as “boeuf à la mode”, which is actually the name of a French dish.

Del: Oh well , you win some, you lose some; nothing ventured nothing gained; boeuf à la mode, as the French say.
Rodney: What’s wrong, Del?
Del: Wrong? Nothing’s wrong. Things couldn’t be better, Rodney. This time next year we’ll be millionaires. Right, get the parfum de toilette into the back of the van, and we’ll see if we can make a killing down the old market, alright?
Rodney: Righto.
Del: That’s it, off you go.
Granddda: D’you play cards again last night?
Del: Eh? Yeah, that’s right, Granddad. You know me – he who dares, wins.
Granddad: How’d you get on?
Del: I lost! I even had Mum’s lucky rabbit foot with me. Brought me about as much luck as it did the rabbit!
Granddad: You wanna ease up with this gambling, Del-boy. I’ve seen too many good men finish up in the gutter chasing easy money.
Del: Yeah, it’s that Boycie, isn’t it? You know Boycie, the secondhand car dealer from Lewisham? I have never seen anyone so lucky at cards, Granddad. It’s all for big money and all.
Granddad: He ain’t using a marked deck, is he?
Del: What? No! We’re close friends. Anyway, he knows I’d break his arms!
Granddad: Well, I were in a card school once where the cards was marked. I lost a fortune.
Del: What, you knew they were marked?
Granddad: Oh yeah, I marked ’em… I was never much good at cards.
Del: Stone me! Never mind.
Granddad: Here, this Boycie fella, does he like spinning the old coin, Del, you know – double or quits?
Del: Well yeah, him, he likes any form of gambling, don’t he?
Granddad: Oh well here Del, you try him with this. It’s a double-headed coin.
Del: A what? Double-headed coin? I thought you only saw these in them old British movies.
Granddad: Scotch bloke gave me this during the war. I remember it like it was yesterday. His hands was trembling and his voice was just a whisper. He said ‘I want you to have something to remember me by, Trotter. Take me lucky coin. ‘Then he… he went!
Del: What – he died?
Granddad: Deserted. Mind you, you couldn’t blame him the way them Germans was carrying on. Someone was gonna get hurt!