YouTube transcription #17 Chris James

Chris James is a British comedian performing in America.


This is great. I’m glad he announced that I’m from England because, er, the last show didn’t turn out so well, because he didn’t tell the guy I was British, and it was a hip-hop club. The host gets up on stage and he’s like: (American accent) “Coming to the stage right now! Coming to the stage right now! All the way from the ‘hood, keeping it real, real thug, real ‘gangsta’, give it up for Chris James y’all. Give it up!” and they played this hip-hop music, hardcore, it was like… and then they cut the music and I was like, “Hello everybody.” They looked at me like they’d just seen a black unicorn.
But here’s the thing, you know, it’s not the first time that some people get surprised. I was at this place called, erm, Roscoe’s Chicken Waffles. Yeah, you guys eat a lot of chicken, too? Yeah, it was good, good chicken. (Laughing at his accent). I was ordering, you know, I was asking for a table, I said, “I would like a table for three, please.” The guy behind me said, (American accent) “Damn! Damn, homey! Yo, hold up, hold up, hold up. Is that your accent for real?” I said, “Yeah.” He goes, “No, no, hold up. For real for real?” I said, “Yeah.” He goes, “Damn, (something I can’t catch). Yo, T-Bone, come over here right quick. I wanna show you something.” “Yeah, what’s going on, dog, what’s going on?” “Yo, say something, British homey, say something.” “Hello, there.” “Damn. That’s like a James Bond brother right there, son. Yo, no disrespect, British homey, no disrespect, but I thought, I thought you were just a regular black. I know you black, but you ain’t BLACK black.” “I’m not a BLACK black! Now he didn’t base this on my complexion, he based this on my accent. How would he like it if he went to Africa and it was like, “Hey, my brother!” “No, no, no, no. I am not your brother. ‘Cause you are only black black. I am BLACK, BLACK, BLACK African tribal *** black!”

Expressions used:
‘hood is US English for neighbourhood
‘gangsta’ is African-American slang for street-style, tough from ‘gangster’.
‘Give it up’ is American for ‘cheer/applause’.
‘Homey’ is said from one African-American to another, like ‘bro’ and ‘brother’.