YouTube Transcription #15 The IT Crowd

Moss and Roy work in the IT department of a large corporation. Their boss, Jen, knows nothing about computers but she always gets credit for their great work, and they don’t like it. This day, Jen has to make a speech in front of the shareholders, and they want to make her look foolish…

Jen: What is it?
Moss: This, Jen, is the Internet.
Jen: What?
Moss: That’s right.
Jen: This is the Internet? The whole Internet?
Moss: Yep. I asked for a loan of it so that you could use it in your speech.
Jen: It’s so small.
Moss: That’s one of the surprising things about it.
Jen: Hang on! It doesn’t have any wires or anything.
Moss: It’s wireless!
Jen: Oh yes, everything’s wireless nowadays, isn’t it. So I can really use it in my speech? What if someone needs it?
Moss: Oh no,no. People will still be able to go online and everything; it’ll still work.
Jen: Oh, good.
Moss: I tell you, you present this to the shareholders and you will get quite a response.
Jen: Can I touch it? It’s so light!
Moss: Of course it is, Jen. The Internet doesn’t weigh anything!
Jen: Ha, ha no of course it doesn’t, ha ha.
Roy: Hey! What is Jen doing with the Internet!
Jen: Moss said I could use it in my speech.
Roy: Are you insane? What if she drops it?
Jen: I won’t drop it, I’ll look after it.
Roy: No, no, no, no, no, Jane. This…this needs to go straight back to Big Ben.
Jen: Big Ben?
Moss: Yeah, it goes on top of Big Ben; that’s where you get the best reception.
Jen: Roy, I promise I won’t let anything happen to it.
Roy: No, Jen, I’m sorry but The Elders Of The Internet would never stand for it.
Moss: No, Roy. I spoke to The Elders Of The Internet not one hour ago, and I told them about Jen winning Employee Of The Month, and they were so impressed that they wanted to do whatever they could to help.
Jen: Wait a minute… The Elders Of The Internet? The Elders Of The Internet know who I am? You’ve got to let me have it!
Roy: No, Jen, I’m sorry. It’s just too risky.
Jen: Oh, please, Roy.
Roy: Well, Moss, has it been completely demagnetized?
Moss: By Stephen Hawking himself. He sends his congratulations, by the way.
Roy: Well, if it’s OK with The Hawk…
Jen: So, can I have it?
Roy: You can.
Moss: Oh, don’t forget your speech.
Jen: Oh, thank you.
Moss: Slowly!

Expressions used:
“Not stand for it” means “not allow it”.
“Not one hour ago” means “only/just one hour ago”.