YouTube Transcription #30 Life’s Too Short
Warwick Davis is an actor who has appeared in Star Wars, Harry Potter, The Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy and many more films. His growth disability has meant that he has found it difficult to get regular roles, but Ricky Gervais decided to write a sitcom specially for him, and in this we can see that Warwick is a very good actor, and he is also very funny.
Here are two related scenes from Life’s Too Short, in which Warwick, Ricky, co-writer Stephen Merchant and movie actor Val Kilmer all act as themselves:
(See below for explanations about the underlines expressions)
Warwick: It must be karma or something, because I’ve had some exciting news. I got a call completely out of the blue yesterday from an old friend who wants to pop by and say hello. You’ll know him from Top Gun, Batman Forever; I know him because we made a little cult movie together called Willow. Mr Val Kilmer is stopping by.
Val: All this yours?
Warwick: No, I just rent a unit here. I had to downsize recently, for efficiency.
Val: Have you got a secretary?
Val: I’ve got a routine that I always do and it kills. Alright, just a sec.
Warwick: Got a surprise for you here, Cheryl.
Warwick: Yeah, but who is it?
Warwick: Right, but who’s behind the mask? It’s not just any person.
Cheryl: It is a person though, it’s not the real Batman, that’s a comic.
Warwick: You’re right, but it’s who’s under the mask that’s a surprise. It’s somebody who played Batman in the films.
Cheryl: What films?
Warwick: The Batman films. Have you seen those films?
Warwick: Good, right, so who is it?
Cheryl: Christian Bale.
Warwick: No, no. Earlier than that.
Cheryl: Michael Keaton.
Cheryl: Is it George Clooney?
Cheryl: I love George Clooney.
Warwick: No, it’s not George Clooney.
Cheryl: I wish it was George Clooney.
Warwick: Well it isn’t. Who else played Batman?
Cheryl: Adam West?
Warwick: Why is it f****** Adam West? He’s about 85! Guess again.
Cheryl: I’ve named all the Batmans.
Warwick: No you haven’t. Who else is there?
Cheryl: Is it the cartoon version?
Warwick: Don’t even know what that means!
Warwick: Oh, it’s embarrassing. Sorry about this, Val. Oh, I said his name. So you got “Val”… who is it?
Cheryl: Is it Michael Keaton?
Warwick: Forget it. Take it off. It’s Val Kilmer.
Cheryl: Oh, are you an actor?
Stephen: Adam West?
Warwick: No, Adam West is about 85.
Ricky: I don’t know. We’ve had all of them, haven’t we? Er, we’ve had George Clooney…
Stephen: Christian Bale…
Ricky: Michael Keaton… I don’t know who else was in Batman.
Warwick: Take it off, Val… it’s Val Kilmer, see?
Ricky: Oh, yeah.
Val: Ha! I got ya.
Ricky: You did.
Val: It’s my, er, my, er, trick. Noone ever gets it.
Ricky: Good to see you.
Stephen: Erm, shall we… we’re kind of a little bit pressed for time. What can we do for you?
Warwick: It’s what we can do for you guys. Erm, Val and I are putting together “Willow 2”, and we’d like to invite you to come aboard as producers. I’ve already raised five thousand pounds.
Ricky: Right, and what do you want from us?
Val: Well, another five thousand.
Val: For development.
Ricky: What would that be for?
Val: Development costs?
Ricky: Yeah. No, but what are those costs at this stage?
Val: I’m staying at the Dorchester (hotel). That’s going to get to be expensive if you eat and drink like I intend to. That’s gonna be fifty grand right there. I mean, if you don’t think I can drain a minibar and have it restocked and do it all again the next night, then you’re a bigger fool that I thought you were.
Ricky: Oh, ok! Erm… ok. Do you mind if we have a quick word with Warwick alone?
Val: No, sure. Take all the time you need. Are you gonna finish that tiramisu?
Stephen: No, take it.
Stephen: Go for it.
Ricky: Waste not, want not.
Warwick: Listen, I know I’ve pestered you guys a bit in the past.
Ricky: Go on.
Warwick: This is a real opportunity for me, and a real investment opportunity for you guys, as well. Ron Howard and George Lucas are attached.
Ricky: See, that’s what I don’t understand, Warwick. If those guys are on board, why are you scrabbling around trying to raise a few grand from friends and relatives, or whatever? They must have that sort of money lying around in drawers.
Stephen: Have you spoken to them. Do you know if this is actually happening because Val just seems a little bit… flighty.
Customer: Christian Bale.
Val: Don’t you people go to the movies?
“Out of the blue” means totally unexpected.
“Pop by” means to visit somebody, or somewhere. for example, “I’m going to pop by the convenience store if you need anything.”
“Cult movie” is a movie that has a small following, but those fans are very dedicated and, well, a bit crazy!
“It kills” means everybody thinks it is funny. Similar is “Jim Carrey always kills me!”
“Pressed for time” means busy, short of time.
“Come/Be aboard” means to join/participate in a project, especially one that requires a financial commitment.
“Drain a minibar” – “drain” in this case is a verb meaning to drink everything (for example, “drain your glass”), and a minibar is the small refrigerator in a hotel room.
“Waste not, want not” is a popular expression to mean if somebody doesn’t want to use something, they should give it to somebody else so as not to waste it.