YouTube Transcription #40 Woody Allen

Narrator: Destitute and in love, Virgil attempts to change his life with one bold stroke.
Teller: And if you’ll just take this to window number nine… What does this say?
Virgil: Can’t you read that?
Teller: I can’t read this. What’s this? “Apt natural”?
Virgil: That says, “Please put $50,000 into this bag and act natural.”
Teller: It does say “act natural”?
Virgil: Er… it says “I’m pointing a gun at you.”
Teller: That looks like “gub”. That doesn’t look like “gun”.
Virgil: No, that’s “gun”.
Teller: No, that’s “gub”. That’s a “b”.
Virgil: No, see, that’s an “n”. That’s “G-U-N”, that’s “gun”.
Teller: George, would you step over here a moment? What does this say?
George: “Please put $50,000 into this bag and apt natural.” What’s “apt”?
Virgil: That’s “act”.
Teller: Does this look like “gub” or “gun”?
George: “Gun”.
Virgil: See?
George: But what’s “apt” mean?
Virgil: “Act”, it’s “act natural… please put $50,000 into this bag. Act natural.” It’s not…
Teller: Oh, I see. This is a hold up.
Virgil: Yes.
Teller: May I see your gun? Well, you’ll have to have this note initialed by one of our vice presidents before I can give you any money.
Virgil: You see, I’m in a rush.
Teller: What?
Virgil: I’m in a rush.
Teller: I’m sorry, but that’s our policy.
George: The gentleman in the gray suit.
Virgil: That’s “G-U-N”, “I’m pointing… yes, I’m pointing a gun at you. That’s “G-U-N”.
Vice President: That’s a “b”, that’s “gub”.
Virgil: No, excuse me, that’s an “n”.
Vice President: Ms Frank?
Ms Frank: “I am pointing a gun at you. Apt natural.
Virgil: No, that’s “act”.
Ms Frank: What’s “apt”?
Virgil: No, that’s “act”.
Ms frank: Oh, it couldn’t be; that’s a plain “p”.
Virgil: No, no, no, I’m afraid not. That’s “act natural” and “I’m pointing a gun at you.”
Ms Frank: Mr Miller.
Mr Miller: “I am pointing a gub
Virgil: No, that’s “gun”, that’s “G-U-N”, “I’m pointing a gun at you.” It looks like a “b” but it’s an “n”.
etc, etc…
Virgil: Hello, Louise? Listen, I can’t make our date today. I’ve got to go up to Boston to give a concert. Look, why don’t I give you a call in about, erm…
Police Officer: About ten years.
Narrator: Virgil Starkwell is apprehended in the act of bank robbery. He is given ten years in the state’s strictest maximum security prison. It is here that he mingles with hardened criminals for the first time. “The prison has not been built that can hold me,” Virgil tells another inmate, “And I’ll get out of this one if it means spending my entire life here.”