Happy Back To The Future day!
October 21st 2015 was the day that Marty McFly arrived in the time machine. Here is a College Humor video showing what it would have been like if he arrived in the REAL 2015:
Marty: Hey, Doc, what’s going on?
Doc: Your kids, Marty, they’re in trouble! We’ve gotta travel to the future to save them.
Marty: Wow, Doc, we’re really here in the future. Looks different from how I imagined it.
Doc: That’s right, Marty. It’s October 21st 2015.
Marty: Incredible! Who knows what kind of technological advancements, and like societal progress we’ve made in three decades. Ha, far out!
Doc: There’s no time for that, Marty. We’ve gotta find your kids.
Marty: well, let’s load up the car’s fusion reactor with garbage and find them.
Doc: No, stop! Are you crazy? Most cars still run on fossil fuels, and the ones that don’t are prohibitively expensive for most people.
Marty: That’s crazy! Hasn’t the government made, like, meaningful investment in clean energy?
Doc: No, Marty. It’s gotten so bad that carbon emissions have irreversibly changed the planet’s climate!
Marty: Oh, heavy! At least it still flies.
Doc: Cars don’t fly! In fact, flying is a real ordeal since the rise of fundamentalist Islamic terrorists has made travle a nightmare of fear insecurity theater.
Marty: Oh! What a dirt cheap political era this is. Bummer, Doc.
Doc: You’ve gotta fit in, Marty. Quick, put these on.
Marty: Oh rad! I bet they’re, like, futuristic self-lacing sneakers, right Doc?
Doc: What? No. They’re called Crocs; they’re foam sandals.
Marty: Oh, man. It looks like a clog ****** Swiss cheese. Smells like it too. Do people actually wear these?
Doc: All the time, especially at amusement parks and malls.
Marty: I gotta tell you, Doc. This future seems pretty terrible.
Doc: I know, but we have to survive it for the sake of your kids.
Marty: Cubs win? They’ve finally won the World Series, no way! “Cubs wins revoked amid steroid scandal.”
Doc: Oh, the whole sport of baseball is in pretty dire condition. It’s been struggling to find new fans and rampant drug use has tarnished the game.
Marty: Ah, jeez. What a grim development for America’s past time.
Doc: Also print media’s on its last legs.
Griff: Hey, McFly, I told you not to come round here!
Doc: Oh, no, that’s Griff, Biff’s grandson.
Marty: Chill out, Doc. It’s the future. I’ll just hop on a Hoverboard and float away. They’ll never catch me.
Doc: Sorry, Marty, there aren’t any Hoverboards. This is the closest thing we have.
Marty: What the **** is this?
Doc: It’s called an Oxboard, Marty. It’s slightly faster than walking.
Marty: Oh. OK, well I guess if it helps me get away.
Doc: See, Marty. There’s a pack of vinestars passing by right now.
Marty: Yeah, I don’t know what “vine” is but I hate them!
Griff: You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face, McFly!
Marty: Oh, jeez, are you gonna bully me?
Griff: What? Think, McFly. If I was gonna bully you I’d do it anonymously online, where I would continuously encourage you to commit suicide, and leak nude photos of you.
Marty: Hey. Woah, sounds like we’ve all forgotten how to treat our fellow humans with dignity.
Doc: That’s right, Marty. Technology has connected us, but in many ways has driven us further apart than ever before.
Marty: Hey, Griff, what’s that? Alright, here we go Oxboard!
Doc: great scot! How we’ve fallen!